My travel fever

When I last saw my aunt we talked about my travel. She actually said that I should move to another country and live there for a while. This is possible as I do my work online. So all that is left for me is to ask the country of my choice what is their opinion about it.

Also I have been looking for a job openings there as well.

Also my sister agrees with my aunt and with me.

Back to class on how to become master manager...

Saturday

I was supposed to write how good day I had with friends. How we did some BBQing and all. But no. I am not going to write about that. That did happen, that's not the reason why I am not writing about it. What I am writing about is how fucking tired I am of my work. Yes we are going there yet again.

I came home and went to the computer to check some payments so that people wouldn't have to wait the whole weekend to get the licenses. This is because of the software release. Yeah I haven't been writing because I haven't had the time. So yeah I was doing the checking and then went to see how much work might I have on monday (if it was huge amount I would have done some already) (part of non written agreement if you ask me). Well what do I find...

I see that my aunt and boss have been working about six hours already. When I send her a text about helping out again, she replies that well we have been doing this for hours already... Red flag to a bull. She also called, but I wasn't able to talk to her at first. When I was (just few minutes after) and tried to explain why I was feeling like someone just stabbed me in the back, she just laughed! Oh, boy! How to feel appreciated. One of her replies were that because people were angry... Well dah! I have to manually accept all the orders. I would be pissed too if I wouldn't get something promised in minutes! I have talked about it for years but there has been no change!

She was trying to make it sound like they were helping me (which I admit was very nice, but I really don't appreciate when someone does things behind my back). One thing is that I might have to do the tickets again anyways! That's what happened last year, but as we did them at the same time (!) I was able to help them. Really if you want to do my job then fine, but I would like to get my notice first! It is such a small company that it doesn't take much to make changes.

GRRR, what really puts me of (from working) is that my aunt really didn't understand what I was talking about. Like who would get pissed of that someone does their work behind their back and then you point it out that oh, btw we did _your_ work... If I had enough money, I would already have stopped working there. After this I will NOT be working for a family company (that is part of my family/relatives) unless it is fucking huge company. (Oh and no there is no such company.)

Pics

When my friend Heidi was over from Tampere, we went shopping. I wasn't planning on buying anything, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the process. We went to Kärkkäinen and I found the dress below for my friends wedding. I could also use it as skirt but it is a bit too long from the sides for that. Now I need to find shoes and sleeves for this.

A dress I bought for my friends wedding

Tuesday night (train arrived at 9 pm) I walked home from the station. When I was about third of my way in, I saw two ducks near by. They weren't scared at all even though two dog walkers walked ahead of me just past this point. Sure sign that spring is coming :))

I was walking home from the station and saw two ducks!

On my way back I was able to do another one. It takes me about three hours to make one. I wonder to who I will give it to... ;)

Another one ready. Hmm, to who I could give it??

Proof that it is getting warmer outside. Still quite chilly inside. Can do nothing about it as it is automated. This is what I get for living in a place that is too big for single person.

It's getting warmer and warmer outside... Oh and also I am freezing inside!

Iron Sky

I went to see Iron Sky with my aunt (who wasn't that exited about it) and with his hubby/my boss (who was exited to see it). I was so exited about it that I was actually a bit worried that I might be dissapointed with it. My boss and me had seen the trailer before so we had some kind of an image what it could be like. I have to say that my boss did not like the movie as he had waited it to be a bit more serious and not a fan movie type. Fine I admit that it could have been better. There was a lot of potential.

Having said that, I LOVED it! My aunt LOVED it! So what is the lesson? Don't expect things, just go watch it. If you liked Star Wreck, you'r gonna love this. I am not going to give the plot away, as I just assume that most of you already know what it is about. When it hits the shops I am so going to buy the dvd. Although I think that this movie is best watched at the movie theather. Just because it is scify movie... I have been dissapointed with scify movies when I have seen them on the tv, but have loved them in the big screen.

Edit: Avengers is coming! Yay! There is another movie that I have waited for soooo long.

Handcraft

This I made for my friend. I was supposed to have it ready for xmas (last xmas). Well better late than never, right?

A little bit different design

Travelling by train

I am travelling to my aunt's place in Turku. I was  supposed to be there before eight pm but alas it did not happen. I will be there at nine pm. This is not much consedering all and all time, but when we compare that the time to travel to my aunt is roughly three hours. So I have had 33% increse in my travel time! Well more like it is 35% as I was supposed to be in Turku less than three hours and when I get there it will have been four hours.

First of all the train that I travelled first had to wait for, I think it was at least, two other trains (could have been more) before it was able to leave. This meant that we would leave about 20 minutes late. Because it was a transit train (if you know what I mean with that) the other trains (ic) would not wait for us. If I would have been going to Tampere this would not have been a problem as there was another train going to that direction soon after. I was supposed to go that direction, but I would have to change train inbetween.

So I got the happy news that I will go south instead of north. This added the one hour to my travels. I had hoped they would have given us taxi (there was others that had the same problem as me) to go to Toijala or other place where the train would stop. Oh yes I would have (well and I did) used three trains to get to my destination.

Now I am using the trains internet to write this. Will post this soon as is, but will edit it later when I have time... Also will add a pic of what I did.

/edit. Wasn't able to add the pic here (used my phone to take it) so I will add to the next post.

I arrived "in time", so the last train was not late. I was fooled by my boss to take the senic route and lots of steps.... Well at least I didn't need to go to the gym after that. 

Haiku, tanka, etc

I have dabbled with haiku and tanka in finnish. It is fairly easy to make it work. So I decided to try it in english. Not so easy at all. First of all the rules are kind of different. I leanerd that there can be ones that have only one word! Smallest one I think has something like four letters?!? So anyway. I tried. I am not as happy as I would be with finnish ones. I also did some that didn't follow the rule of 17 syllables (well haiku in english it is said that it is up to 17). But hey most of the english ones doesn't either so, I'm okey.

One thing is for sure. I will never, ever be a poet. :))

So anyway here are some of the things that I tried out. The point being that I tried to follow the rule of 17, so the content might be a bit of shit.

Sun is
shining
today

(haiku by letter)

Sun and
rainbow
for me

(haiku by letter)

Birds fly
high above
cloud moves

(not sure if this is anything, but I think it might be considered as Haiku in english)

To not be yourself
water runs over no-one
not to say nothing

(haiku with 17 syllables I think. I am not that good at counting syllables in english)

Chance to change something
travel to the world unseen
wake up it's all dream

(not sure if "it's" is counted as one or two. I think it is one when it is like that. Also haiku)

Unseen travels worlds
the dreams kept alive by hope
logic behind all

(also if haiku if counted correctly)

To give up travel
cut birds wings
it can fly no more

(this was luna if I remember correctly. That's 5-3-5)

Sun wakes up nature
darkness hides from you and me
still ever present
always close by to catch us
if we leave the path of joy

(this would be tanka. Yes I know that it is not supposed to be that continuos but as I said I'll never be a poet ;) )

logic logic logic
always
funnybone missing

(I had almost fallen asleep when I though of this, so I had to share it)

More pics

If you remember I took a pic of an egg. Here is the egg after my niece painted it. I do have to point out that this one was the first one and my sister helped with the hearts. She did three of them. I have to say that it was quite a good idea to save the eggs. I do remember that we did these when we were kids.

Painted egg

When we went for a walk through the near forrest I found something. It was left behind by Solo. It was in such a bad shape that we took it to the bin. I think this was his second pig (like this) and fifth in all pigs. He really liked the sound.

Solo's favourite toy

Thingies

Snow has melted quite down already. You can see one of my lamps there.

Canadian coin... Don't remember how I got it.

Baking

Today I baked for my niece's bday party. Deja-vu you say? Nope it is not that. My other niece has her birthday tomorrow. :) We decided that we would make a ham pie for the guests and I would make Karelian pasties for my nephew who is allergic to milk. So the porrige would be made out of rice or soy drink instead of milk.

Making of skins

I made the skins for the pasties with only rye flour, water and salt. The trick is to let it stay for half'n hour. So the water and flour has some time to set.

Quickly made ham pie (kinkkupiirakka)

After making the first bach of pasties I noticed a problem. The porridge was way too runny. So I needed to fix it. Before doing that I made the ham pie. It had ready made bed so all I needed to do was add the filling. I rather would do the dough myself but we were tight on time.

Skins watining to be filled

Skins waiting to be filled. Well as I mentioned earlier the porrige was quite runny. Well lating it cool down did not help at all! It came even more runny. So I had to add an egg and wheat flour to make it thicker. Let me just say that after the adding the porrige changed into more liquidy form if possible. 

Ready pasties: note that these are milk free and the rice porrige didn't quite work as it would with milk. They taste lovely, or so I was told.

Here are the first ones from the oven. As you can see they look a bit empty... This is because the porrige was a tad too liquidy. But my niece says that they taste good.

Brother in law did these, so not mine.

See the porrige is really runny. So do not use rice drink to make rice porrige.

Left ofver porrige made to be something

I am not sure what I should call this... pancake comes to mind, but that would be the wrong translation as this was kind of rice "Pannukakku".

Believe it or not this egg is empty :))

Also we took good care of the eggs so that my niece can paint them later :)

On a side note. My niece has caught something and we had to post pone the bday party. So we didn't do as much baking as we planned to do. She is really sad because she was waiting for the other kids to come play with her. I just hope that I haven't caught the same thing what she has, as I will need to drive back home on monday. I might stop at oulu to drop few gifts to my niece's new cousin. (Just stop by at a gas station and ask my brother in laws brother to drop there so that I won't get the little baby sick.) I also need to inform my granny's neighbor that there is sickness here, so that she can be prepared for it. Or let me know that I can't go there. I really don't want to get her husband sick.

To forgive and forget

How easy is it to forgive and forget? Small things go by quite fast. We might not even remember that we felt bad about something as we forgave and forgot it right away. How about the big ones? I know that the bigger the issue the longer it takes. Also do we have to forgive? Can't we just forget?

What I do is that I think of the past and think what I would have done in that situation (me being the parent). I try to see the reason behind the actions and would I have done the same. I think, would I be able to stand tall and say I forgive you. Some things I see as kind of parenting and in others I see the desperation. I understand the feelings and I see why some actions are made. Still I can't forgive and forget.The small stuff I have forgotten already. Well not totally and I tell people about them as part of normal childhood.

I haven't been hurt by others that much as I haven't let them. I haven't let them by expecting the worst to happen. So when the worst happens I am already over it. So to forgive and forget about something that a stranger or a friend would have done... I am not sure how would I act. Small things of course happen from time to time. And just noticed that I am not counting certain place and people at all. So strike that yes I have been hurt by others, but I have already forgotten about it. Still if you want to see me ski (downhill or cross country) I would rather do that in other country than up north (of this country)

It is so humane to not forgive and forget. I have seen it happen in one of my aunts. Her mortal enemy is still my mother even though she has not lived in the same place for closer to 20 years. Still my aunt blames my mother of killing her dog (about 30 years ago) as she accidentally drove over the dog. This is the same aunt that tried to adopt me when I was a kid and spread the rumor that I was actually adopted when I moved to live in the farm she owned for a year. When I didn't find it funny (nor did want to take over the farm) the wind changed. I became the enemy. I was needy and didn't think of anyone else but me. No, I have not yet forgiven her totally, but I've forgotten it quite well.

I also have one aunt that blamed me of separating my family. (With my family I mean mom, step dad and us kids.) All I wanted to do was to live with my dad. Then my mother tells me that my aunt (my sisters god parent) thinks that I am a bad child that I am wrecking the family. That I should stay with my mother. All I could think that moment was, well of course you stand by your sister I respect that, but who the hell are you to tell 12 yrd old that she is a bad child! Also she did not know my side of the story. Only what my mother had told her. Yeah, I still sometimes think that she is hypocrite. I think I have forgiven and forgotten about it quite a long time ago. Mostly because I am not 100% sure that it was actually my aunt that had said those things. I know my mother, and it could have been her that said it but just gave the blame to my aunt.

So to forgive and forget... it is a process that takes time. Oh boy, do I hate waiting! I want to be able to forgive and forget right away. I just want to enjoy life! Why waste time on something like moping and going through stuff over and over and over and over and over again... To be able to just to move on would be so nice. Nice but not humane. I believe that for us as humans to grow we need to go through the emotions and all ups and downs. All that takes time. So we need to be patient. Which I don't have...

Men are from where?

Not writing from personal experience now. I am just writing from my perspective of men after listening to my friend. And let me tell you, more than once have I been so pissed off at them (men) that I could actually do bodily harm to them would they be anywhere near me. Just unbelievable!

Now I know there are the few good men out there somewhere, so I am not damning the whole "mankind". But really GRRR. Just to get rid of all the anger I am going to write this so that you= men, so ladies no worries but men beware!

First of all where the hell do you come from to tell someone that they are less than that they are not worthy of!! Really?!? Second of all when you are meeting/ seeing casually someone it means that you go to movies or dinner or something like that. Not lets spend weekends together. So if you are saying after dating someone that, oh it actually wasn't dating even though I too thought so when we were dating, ups I mean seeing each other, it is helluva rude. Ney, it is more than that! Third of all if you can't behave like you deserve us, let us go! Clinging to someone who you are putting down is just unacceptable.(/ end of you thingy)

Just to give you a short story  and give you a glimpse behind my rage, I am going to tell you about my friend (with her permission, but not giving any names). My friend wants to meet the guy, you know, the one. She met this good candidate and started slowly at first. Then if I remember correctly it was he who wanted things to move forward aka they started dating. It was a long distance relationship, but it seemed to work out. Then once after a row they didn't keep in touch for _two_ days. My friend had started to come a bit suspicious and asked him about their plans. She then heard that he had actually found someone else while they weren't talking.

So basically he used my friend (first red flag), he lied to my friend (second red flag), he used my friend (well yeah I said it already but still it is third red flag) and he is now playing it all down like it wasn't as important (of a relationship) as it actually was (fourth red flag). Really?!? Where the hell do men come from when they can behave so coldly?

I would have a better example, which includes narcissism, mental violence and lots of clingingness. Let me just say that there was a man that could not understand a clear plead/command of STAY THE FUCK AWAY!

When someone is ready for a relationship and opens up to other and reveals her true self, it is NOT ment to be used as a weapon against her! GRRR! Who the fuck does that to people! (Well... One good example comes to mind, but I am not going to write about that yet). What is wrong in the brain of man, when so many of them seems to obey the simple rule of women are my toys and I can do what the hell I want with them!

I better stop ranting before I say something I might regret!

Driving, driving and little more driving

Yesterday morning I did some cleaning and took the garbage out (yay I remembered it) and kept my fingers crossed that I wouldn't forget anything important. First I went to my niece's birthday party. I was a bit early, but I didn't want to just sit at home and wait for the time to pass and also they didn't mind at all that I was early :) First my nephew did this traditional thingy (the translator says that conduct a Finnish Easter, but that doesn't make any sense!) where he said a poem and waved a twig at me. Well best I can describe the tradition is that week before Easter all the witches and trolls (kids) (others are not traditional, and should be only used when this new thing called Halloween is) go door to door to wish good wealth and fortune with a twig (or branch) of willow or birch (willow is more traditional) that is decorated and receive a payment for it. Usually the payment is chocolate egg or money. Tradition says that the payment is collected a week after, but nowadays the payment is given right away and it is up to parents when the kids eat the eggs. (It is still lent)

One example by my niece or nephew (they are outside at the moment so can't ask them) with willow twig

They actually have made quite a few of them :)

So back to the story... I spent about four hours at my niece's 6 yr bday party, before I left to drive to Tornio. I thought I had to drive about 750 km but it turned out that I only needed to drive about 640 km. I think it will take some time for me to realize the real distance now that I don't have to go by my granny's place. I will be going there when I return home as my granny's neighbour has asked me to pop by. I will also go by my grandparents grave. All in one go. But yeah, I thought I would have to sit in the car till the wee hours. Luckily the roads were dry and there weren't that much traffic. Also some automated signs were showing the summer speed. Yay! This meant that I was able to drive nicely forward for 4,5 hours until I absolutely needed to stop for... you know... powder my nose. As I had eaten well at the party, I didn't need to eat anything at the stop. I just filled the tank up, so that I wouldn't need to stop again to do that. More time saved! I think I saved like an hour just for not eating and not stopping more than once.( edit: I just calculated the consumption: 6,7l/km! With winter tyres! That was the half way point.)

It was nice to drive as it is lighter than in the middle of the winter. I think I noticed just around ten (pm) that it was dark enough to use the long lights. Oh, before I forget I need to mention and give a mental note to all of you: When driving in the dark and passing a truck, please do not get scared by windmills!! Luckily I was in overtake lane (if there is such word, but I hope you understand what I mean) so there was no harm done to anyone or anything, but just me by my imagination. I was indeed passing/taking over a truck when I noticed a rotation movement from the corner of my eye. When I looked I saw nothing but darkness. Then eyes to the road and again something rotating in the corner of my eye. Luckily the moon decided to shine through the clouds then and I saw three windmills doing their business, minding no-one. phew, I tell ya. I am certain that there were not there the last time I drove by!

I arrived at my sister's just minutes before midnight. I might have been driving a bit faster the last 100 km or so, but not too fast (aka not fast enough to get a ticket). Checked my phone for messages, and went to bed. I do have my own bed here (I brought it here before I moved to Grenada, and decided to leave it here and by a new one when I moved back to Finland) (I brought it here, because I lived here for few months), so falling a sleep feels like falling asleep at home.

The morning started with my niece trying to sneak down to wake me up, but not been able to do so had to come with my nephew. She was able to get down here (I sleep in the fireplace room) (well hasn't seen any fire since they moved in here, so it is basically just guest room) first, put the lights on and asked me what time would I like to have breakfast. I cordially answered that in few hours would be nice (it was after 6 am or something like that). Then my sis and nephew came seconds later as he also wanted to come that I had arrived. He was a bit shy and wouldn't first give me a hug, but after my niece jumped on top of me, he soon followed. Also he wanted to stay with me down here for a while. He wouldn't go up until I came with him. So no more sleeping for me :))

On a side note, I was allowed to wash his bump (dirty diaper) even though his dad is at home (my sis is at school) (and I am really working, just writing here and there once in a while)! Yay! He usually chooses his dad or mom to do the washing. Today he choose me :) Small things to make you happy!

This one is called Karelian bird (cuckoo), I actually made this when I was younger (this is about 12 yrs old, but been up there about 5 yrs)

This is also a Karelian tradition. I have had to explain these to a lot of people as to my surprise they are not very well known. I remember doing these for Christmas and Easter sales for school and church when I was kid/younger/under 18...

edit 2: I can barely keep myself from laughing as I hear my niece telling her grandparents that I am a traveller. This came up as they asked when is her great grand dad's bday, and she said that I know, because I am a traveller. I have travelled far. Further then from here to where I live :)) Bless her heart! That is just so sweet :))