The thing is...

Not all of you know, that my mom used to give us suicide notes when I was 13. Well it started when I was 13 and has continued since. She has told my sister that she doesn't plan to hurt herself... But still she sends us from time to time those notes. We already know before hand  when to expect the notes. If she is feeling a bit down, she will send one.

My granny is in the hospital at the moment. It is her second time during this year. I think she was at home less than a month, before she had to go back. I do not see her future to continue much longer. She is so tired from time to time. I hope we will be able to see her next week.

I am planning on buying my own place, because I am tired of paying rent to someone else. I just don't know where should I move to. I like the place where I live now, but I would love to live in Tampere. But that is way too expensive place for me. Well it would not be if I would buy a single apartment, but I like to be able to give room for those who need it (aka to my sister when she visits me).

I do hate my job, but I feel like I am no good doing anything else. This is a problem when trying to apply for another job, or finding something that I could do. Before I got this job, I thought I could do anything, but this job has proven me wrong. I do have the freedom to work from where ever I am as long as I have internet connection. I have been able to travel, I have been able to visit my relatives and friends. Still I feel like I would get nothing in return.

The thing is that not many people know this. They are just some small stuff. Not even my biggest things. Yeah I really do think that I value my privacy very much. It's just something that I have learned after living with my mom.